Great Pyramid Sightseeing Guide: The 11 best places to visit this season!
This handy guide will ensure you get to see and find all the locations worth visiting in the Great Pyramid area.
1. The Geeza! pyramids:
These pyramids far outlast any castles, generally people don't launch catapults at them though, the middle pyramid seems to have an accessible entrance but no one has come out alive. Rumour has it you may become entombed yourself so you can chill with the pharoahs of old.
2. The Angry Sphinxter:
Near the pyramids is some weird cat? Snake? Maybe the guy who built them can't place rocks properly but you may regularly see jumpers or snipers from its' mouth. The fall is usually fatal unless you're really hard.
Tip: Why not try and get all the way on top of it's head? You will get a pretty good view of your surroundings from there.
3. Tetrastyle monument:
War is a beautiful thing, invaders a little north of the Great Pyramid left some really cool halloumi infused structures for us to explore. Change your name to Testikles and climb up to the top for a better view, jump off into the haybale at the bottom, it definitely won't kill you (cos Assassins Creed is completely realistic), even if there is 100 skeletons crushed into the bottom of it.
Before we had watches and Nokia 3210's people used the sundial to tell the time, even though you could just look up and see it's clearly day time all the time. The builder made the mistake and positioned it wrong so the shadow actually faces away from the pillars, damn. Worth a visit to take your mind off the serf you just robbed.
5. The aquaduct:
Don't want to drink the water you've just took a shit in? What about the body of the doctor who wouldn't heal you? That's why you need an aquaduct. Good for fresh water and RDM *cough* shooting people from.
Chances are some dodgy guys will hide here and say "500 or die" but don't worry just shout "ADMIN ADMIN TP TO ME" and before you know it anubis himself will come to the rescue.
6. Asteroid Impact:
When you run out shiny stuff to mine where else to go than something from outerspace? There's some iron here, and a little silver. Why is the water red?
7. Gold Mine:
When you need a reason to include ships, a gold mine is the answer. Watch for pirate outlaws coming to sink you. The waters not that deep so if you jump enough times you might survive, but you will look really stupid.
What's better than getting absolutely wankered for very little cost, well not much. Come to the vinyard where the wine is cheap and the ERP is cheaper.
9. Castle Docks:
Before your boat to Calradia returns you might have enough time to climb the stairs of this castle. I can't promise the inhabitants won't murder you, just don't preach about a god they don't like and you should be fine.
Don't like the weird towels and turbans? Don't like anything but a t shirt with deus vult on it? Try the imported goods shops in the main town. That Pig faced Bascinet never looked so good.
11. Assassin's Hideout:
Are you a moody emo but not brave enough to kill yourself? Why not kill other people. Just stick on these long heavy robes, climb some buildings and keep burying your parents until a contract comes in.
If you read all of that you have too much patience.